ADVANCE HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!!

OMG!!! February is soooooooooo fast approaching. Like I can hear it knocking on my door. Hehehe.

Yes, I'm single! And I'm back to my old self of celebrating Valentine's Day without anyone to be with. Sigh! But on the brighter side, I still have my family and my friends to keep me company, give me a tight hug and a kiss on Feruary 14...that is if they are available (Of course they will be!)

My plans for Vday?! I might just stay at home(thank God it will fall on a Sunday..Lol) maybe watch some dvds. I can also go to the mall and treat myself for a dinner or whatever. Who knows...that by just simply walking alone, you make one couple's Valentines day not sooo good! Harharhar!

So to all single ladies, gays out there like me...HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!!

SHOULDA, WOULDA, COULDA

If you have been following my blogs, you probably have an idea who was Richard So in my life.

Last Sunday, January 17...I was hanging out with my couple friends Zelda and Mael in their house in Heritage. Mael and I were drinking and Zelda's just there chatting with us while watching Kris Aquino's interview on The Buzz. Then I spoke and told them that January 17, should have been my first year anniversary with Richard.

January 17, 2009...I can still remember how we met. Where we met and what we did that day. What we talked about. Richard was a blessing to me after being single for a year.

My friends keep on telling me how lucky I was to have him and that we compliment each other. Richard taught me about so many things in life...so many things about love. There even came to a point that I told myself how lucky I was to have him.

I experienced a lot of "first" with Richard. I experienced how it feels like to dine on a V-Day. I got to the point where I met his parents and so did he. Apparently, I also experienced the first heartbreak. That infamous heartbreak where you can't do anything but to cry and ask questions and hoping for him to answer them all.

When Richard and I...actually when richard broke up with me on May 6, 2009, I was devastated. I was on my way to Asian Hospital then for my shoot when I received his text stating that we're over. Saying that we can no longer patch things up, saying goodbye.

I WOULD have been the happiest guy in the world just by having him until FOREVER ONLY IF WE DIDN'T BREAK UP.

And that same day, where I found out from Zelda that Richard now has a boyfriend. I was stunned for like 3 seconds and then I managed to say something which I already forgot.

Two nights ago, I texted Richard this:

"Hi, Jerome here. Heard it from Zelda. Congratulations on your new relationship, from the bottom of my broken heart..."

It COULD HAVE BEEN THE LAST TIME I'LL FALL IN LOVE but maybe he's just there to teach me the goodness in life and the people around me...

SOMETHING TO PONDER

I received a forwarded quote yesterday from my friend Roselyn and the quote goes like this:

"Sometimes we find ourselves FEELING INCOMPLETE...longing for something we can't explain, and you're caught in the middle GOING NOWHERE. WEIRD ISN'T IT? But that's beauty of being human, it's knowing that there is a purpose for each existence, and whatever that may be, it's also the reason why we still wake up each day, TO DISCOVER THE MISSING PIECE OF THE PUZZLE thay would make our lives complete..."

The quote somehow striked me. Like a spear straight to my heart.

I have been feeling this for the past 7 months. Asking questions to myself and to God. Random questions like why, when, where. Questions that needs to be answered.

WE go on with our lives as time goes by. Meeting certain individuals, encountering new experiences and discovering new things that AFFECTS us mentally, spiritually and emotionally.

How long does one's journey in life should take? What's at stake? What's the catch?

Personally, I'm longing for those days when everytime I wake up each morning...I have someone I can hug right by my side. Someone to cuddle with. Someone to exchange "good morning" messages through text. I MISS BEING IN LOVE.

There were times that I FEEL SO ALONE! So EMPTY. I remember one time, I browsed through my phonebook and I told myself how pathetic it is to feel that I have like more than a hundred (not including my collegues) and you can't have anyone to talked to knowing that you were always there for them everytime they wanted you to be there.

But like what the quote said, maybe that's beauty of being human. That's the mystery of life. We just have to live with it and embrace it. That the missing pieces we are looking for are still to come. That the people that can make us feel complete is still making his/her own way towards us...

ME AND THE CITY

I find it so puzzling looking at the city's skyline when I was on the 13th floor of ELJ Building.

Looking at the city, it's buildings, skyscrapers, busy streets...I can't help but wonder how this busy Metro could hold my series of ex-boyfriends. How Manila gave me such fond memories of my escapades since I was just a teen and now that I'm all grown up...I wonder what can still the city offer me?

I used to be the child of Malate when I was in College. Almost every Saturday, I go there together with my girlfriends Ian and Ross. We always head to Verve, our favorite club there and just party the night away. We were not really that much of a beer drinkers back then...we just wanna parteee!!!

After like almost a decade (gosh, am I that old now?!) my idea of fun (drinking) is not on a Friday or Saturday night. It can be everyday. Saturday for me is like Christmas, like Holy Week, like New Year in the context of it comes only once a week. Since work is taking a big toll on me, I need to have Saturdays and even Sundays for myself, family and friends...in short NO WORK ALLOWED!!!

The metro has changed quite a bit since that last time I looked at it. The clubs and bars are more bold, more young, more hip than it was before. Or is it just me?!

GOOFING AROUND

Have you ever experienced going to work and found out that you have nothing to do. It's not because you don't wanna work, it's just simply because you are done for the day and that you don't wanna step out of the office yet.

This happened Monday (January 11, 2010) last week when after my meeting for Salamat Dok which ended around 12noon. I was suppose to go straight to another meeting (Rated K) but since the people from Rated K were stuck in the Media Ethics Forum, I was left alone and so I decided to go online, check my Facebook account, emails etc...and then I got bored!

So what I did, I took out my phone and pose like a cam whore and entertained myself just to kill time.

Here are my other wacky poses...Hahaha!

TO DO...

This blog is about what they call New Year's resolutions and also some of the things that I wanna do and achieve this 2010. Yes, I know that this is sooooo late for posting but there's no harm in sharing this right?! Hehehe

Ok..first, um I will try my best (and I hope I can do it) to stop smoking or hopefully lessen the sticks that I puff for a day. Basically, I'm smoking a pack of Winston Lights a day and that even doubles if I drink. I kinda consider these cigarettes as my inhaler everytime I drink.

When I saw Robin Padilla advertising Liveraide, I told myself that I will also cut down the number of days going to bars and drunk myself till the last drop and that I should be taking good care of my liver...hehehe. Wanna be a liverlover too! It's like everyday of my life or every other day...after work or just merely out of boredom I would drink, regardless if it's beer, vodka, rum, brandy...basically everything that contains alcohol and that can make me drunk. I don't go for Colt 45 and Red Horse, they are too strong for me...Hahaha!

Next is to SAVE!!! And this time it's for REAL! God! It's such a shame to say that I've been working for 5 years now but I still have no savings. Wait! Wait! Wait! Before you start opening your mouth and nag me...hear this, the reason why i don't have any savings is because I'm supporting my family. I'm like acting like the head of our family. Everybody knows what our family went through, hello...it's like an open book to all of my friends and even my colleagues from work. It's not that easy to be the breadwinner of the family you know. Every payday, more than half of what I earn goes to my family for the groceries, electric wan water bills, and other expenses and I can say that at least I'm not that spending it all on my vices.

When it comes to my career...I really have this small voice inside of me saying that I've had enough with the boradcast industry. Maybe because of the stress or just the feeling of being burnt out...I want to have another career. A career/work like any normal homo sapiens who are working in a company or a corporation would have. Like an 8am-5pm job and after that shift, you can go home carefree, not minding if work will come right after you. A work that will not bug you if you're out on a date with someone, or watching movie with friends or perhaps while you're lying on your couch and doing the dvd marathon thing...One thing's for sure, I love this job.(Why would I take up Mass Communication and even apply in ABSCBN if i don't want to? Right?) But I guess it's not that bad to try other things ayt?

This is my favorite...I still wanna see the world. I love travelling. I really do! I really envy those people running against each other in Amazing Race. The world is such a big place for us and it has lots of good sights to see, many things to try. I wanna go to Japan and wear kimono.

I wanna eat some pasta in Italy and visit Rome.

Wanna go to Macau and of course...

I wanna strut my ass like Carrie Bradshaw did in Manhattan in the US.

Lastly, I wanna meet that special someone. That somoeone whom I can be my source of inspiration aside from my family and friends. That someone whom at the end of the day, I can be with and just lie beside him. That someoen whom I can exchange sweet words. That someone whom I can call mine.

PATCHING UP PT.1

As I sat on the bus yesterday on my way to work, I received a text message from Clarice...a friend, whom I deliberately deleted on my phonebook (but inevitably not in my life) So why did I delete her? If you have read my THEN AND NOW entry last December, you would know.

She's asking if I'm free on a Saturday morning for coffee. What I did is I immediately texted Zelda and told her that Clarice is inviting me to meet up. All of the latter's texts and my replies were forwarded instantly to Zelda. I knew that Clarice wanted to patch things up and maybe even tried to salvage the friendship, unfortunately she got a "no can't do" response because I told her that I have work on a Saturday, Salamat Dok and Rated K.

I wanted to show some empathy on her and asked how are THEY doing and she said that they're ok and she also did asked the same thing.

Don't you find it so akward when you are texting with someone whom you used to consider your friend but eventually that friendship somehow crumbled and have shaken just because of poor communications?

Unfortunately, we weren't able to see each other because I'm still doing some things and that she has to catch up with Prince, her boyfriend. So I suggested to her that we should have it move next Saturday.

I'm glad that Clarice tried her very best to reach out for me. I mean, well Clarice is always been one of my closest in the barkada aside from Zelda. We both love cartoons and we tend to have some modd swings once in a while.

Wait for the update, we'll meet up next Saturday...

RESURFACING...

It was if I'm not mistaken half of last year when I met Jowell. A 20 something guy from Bulacan. We met in Sta. Rita when Rated K had its brainstorming for the Kasal Episode of Rated K.

A very sweet and timid guy.

After how many months, our paths crossed again on YM. And now we're about to continue whatever may come up between us...

LOOKING BACK...

As we enter another year, I can't help but to be amazed on how 2009 passed me by just like that. Thinking all the things that have happened last year, remembering the people I've met, places I've been to and lessons in life that I have learned...what a 2009 it was.

Last January, after a year since I resigned from Rated K...I found myself back in the show. Lucky for me, Ms. Marielle (Salamat Dok's Executive Producer) allowed me to be part again of Rated K with the deal that Salamat Dok should be my priority. And I thank her for that.

Also that month where I met my ex-boyfriend Richard So. We met on January 17 to be exact. Unfortunately, the relationship lasted for just 3 months and a half.

Last August of 2009, I went to Singapore to unwind and relax. To veer away from stress cause by work. Hehehe. I stayed there for 9 days and had my accommodation courtesy of my high school friend Aldous Peñaranda.

Since we're now talking about my exile in Singapore, there were also a lot of travels that happened in 2009 for me.

This year, ther are a number of people whom I've met. Some through my coverages, some through some common friends.

This year, I also got the chance to meet some celebrities like Krista Ranillo, Hayden Kho and former Pres. Joseph Estrada.

When it comes to my sexlife...hmmm, I had a good share of sex with men last year. Though 2009 wasn't that good for me, but 2009 wasn't that bad for me either. It's right in the middle. Hahaha

When it comes to my family...I'm happy that despite of the trials we have managed to cope up with it and get over with it.

This 2010, i hope to go to places I've never been to like Camiguin, Batanes and Palawan.

This 2010, hope to finally meet him. As I told my close friend Zelda, right now, I think I'm not really after the realtionship thing but I'm definitely more than willing to fall in love as soon as the right person comes along.

This 2010, I hope to meet more people regardles of their status in life.

Like what I posted in my Facebook shoutout...2009 is good, 2010 will be better!