OPEN LETTER

I texted Ryan four days ago on how to go to Pulilan, Bulacan wherein he replied. Hehehe. He asked me how are things going on and how did Clarice and me do when we talked last January. I told him that we were able to patched things up. He then asked me how is Zelda doing. I replied "Di kami masyado nagkakatext ngayon eh, medyo nagkatampuhan din. Nakakatawa yung nangyari sa atin no? Lahat tayo, kanya-kanya na" I don't know if Ryan had an idea that I was being sarcastic and bitter when I said that line.

I was itching to write a blog on this, but since work gets always on the way...I just had today to do this while drinking a can of Coke.

So here goes everything...

Dear Brian,

I'm glad to have you as my neighbor and you don't have to doubt that. Remember what I told you that I was surprised to see you and found out that you're my classmate when I transferred to SMASN? I really thought you're older than me maybe because of your height. Anyways, among us (the 6 of us) it's so ironic that we are the ones who are so detach. It's like we're not neighbors at all. We don't talk that much, we don't laugh that much. Maybe because your straight? Or maybe because you're not that of a green minded compare to Ryan? Well, whatever it is, it saddens me. Really! As in! The way I see it, we became friends because we're classmates for 4 years and that I'm close to Zelda and you'r close to her. I tried my best to reach out to you, I don't even know if you ever notice it but I did. I'm happy that you're going places now. Literally and figuratively. Good luck to you and Carina. I wish you all the best and I'm sincere with that.

Dear Carina,

Hi girl! Howdy? Well, it's me Jerome just in case you forgot. Hehehe. Kidding aside. I told Zelda that i can't recall a single day that we bonded. If there is, please tell me. Must be because of the alcohols that's why I tend to forget things. I told Clarice how disappointed I was with you. With me always reaching out and you not doing anything. Why? Is there something wrong? If there is, mind telling me? Honestly, you're the only person in the group that's very hard to deal with. And I don't know why. I'm your friend, we are your friends...please let me feel it, make us feel it. On the bright side, I miss how you giggle. I miss you and Brian always having negative comments on me, on my sexlife etc. (I don't mean anything about this) Anyways, stay as bubbly as you are. Best wishes to you and Brian.

Dear Ryan,

Honestly, you're the most likeable in the group. Even if you're always not around or not answering to any texts or calls. Maybe that's one reason what we like and love about you Ryan. I still remember the time when we had to group ourselves way back in highschool and we did a P.E. project at your house together with Ambic, Faye and the rest of our groupmates and had lunch using dahon ng saging. I love it! You're what you see what you get image is what people like about you, what we like about you. And you don't even care. How do you do that?! You always find time to get away with everything, or almost everything. Hahaha. I can still remember what you wrote on one of my autograph nung highschool pa tayo...that you're proud of me and that you respect me even if I'm gay. I hope you still feel the same right now. Advance congratulations on your upcoming wedding.

Dear Clarice,

You know that we jive in alot of ways. Either its music, cartoons, food etc. I'm so happy to have you as my friend and I hope you do too. I know that we already talked last month at Starbucks about what's going on. I just wanna let you know that I feel for you. It's very obvious that you still hold on, that you want all of us to get back together and be friends once again. You may not say it but you're actions tell it all. I also have that at the back of my mind and in my heart. i'm just stornger than you and maybe because of time I learned how to put up a face so no one can fathom what you really feel. When you cried, I tried to be numb and oblivious about your tears. Don't you think I would give up on us that easy? Of course not. But I have to. I want you also to realize things that are not suppose to be said, not suppose to be demanded.

Dear Zelda,

I never thought that there would come a time that we will go through this. We have been thorugh a lot and we never even shared a single fight. Among us all, you know for a fact that we always do get along. We always jive. If not, we have learned to compromise. I asked my friend Jessie why you don't wanna talk where in fact I'm reaching out. She told me..."Friend, kaw din naman ganyan, of all people you should understand her reactions" I know that in time, we'll be ok...we'll all be okay. And I'll wait for that day. I don't know if I have to say sorry and be apologetic for the action I did, but since you said that you were disappointed, I guess that's one good reason for me to say sorry. Regards to your journey to being a good mother. Regards to Mael. I'm hoping and wishing for a healthy baby for you both.

...

Dear All,

Sorry for being too realistic...

for being too frank

too outspoken...

too loud...

too transparent...

Sorry for being demanding and sorry for everything that I may have not known...

You might say that I'm whining again, crying over spilt milk. But I really can't help it, and I think you can't blame me for that.

Honestly, I'm trying to hold back my tears right now. I'm not afraid to cry, it's just that I'm here in the office together with my colleagues. All I can do is sigh.

I'm happy that I have known 5 beautiful people in this world. That I have shared some of my years with you guys, whether we're laughing or crying. The bond we had will always be with me.

Hear this, even if time made us chose our own paths, we are still friends...

WE'LL ALWAYS BE FRIENDS. COME WHAT MAY, LET IT BE!

With this, I would like to share to you guys this wonderful song. This is what basically the message I wanted to transcend.

...

LEAN ON ME

Sometimes in our lives we all have pain

We all have sorrow

But if we are wise

We know that there's always tomorrow

Lean on me, when you're not strong

And I'll be your friend

I'll help you carry on

For it won't be long

'Til I'm gonna need

Somebody to lean on

Please swallow your pride

If I have things you need to borrow

For no one can fill those of your needs

That you don't let show

Lean on me, when you're not strong

And I'll be your friend

I'll help you carry on

For it won't be long

'Til I'm gonna need

Somebody to lean on

If there is a load you have to bear

That you can't carry

I'm right up the road

I'll share your load

If you just call me

So just call on me brother, when you need a hand

We all need somebody to lean on

I just might have a problem that you'd understand

We all need somebody to lean on

Lean on me when you're not strong

And I'll be your friend

I'll help you carry on

For it won't be long

Till I'm gonna need

Somebody to lean on

Lean on me...